*Disclaimer: Warning, these are just jokes. DON'T TRY THEM OUT! If you think these are cool and want to do them, YOU ARE A HUGE IDIOT!*

To make a really unusual egg salad, try putting egg shells in.

For added taste to anything leave the mayo in the sun for 3 days before you use it. Make sure to break the seal before doing this.

To keep her awake, sit her part of the blanket on a fireant pile or under a wasp's nest. No premature naps for her. If the wasps aren't helping, knock on their nest with a long stick. Better yet, get M-I-L to do it, the exercise will help her circulation.

To save money, which your M-I-L will like, buy month old bologna. Or fish it out of the dumpster. The green spots will make her think you splurged on pimento loaf.

For desert, let the kids make those cool worm cups. But don't run to the store with these high gas prices. Instead, send the kids to the back yard for ingredients. The added protein from real worms will be good.

For a grand finale, put M-I-L real close to the pyrotechnics. Tell her its okay to help the guys even if they say no. After all men never ask for help. With any luck, KABOOM! Free trip for her to the moon.

©Copyrighted by Stumbeline June 30, 2000.

Hope you enjoyed these. If you didn't - too bad! They were only meant in jest. I'm honestly a nice person. I just have a mean streak. LOL Sign the guestbook even if you hated this.

Thanks to spottydoodle for helping inspire this page. And laughing at my stupid jokes all the time.