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My mother and I have never been close, not that I can remember. Maybe it's that legendary rivalry, I'm not sure. But we've always had issues. I've never been able to call her my friend, or eager to for that matter.
But this page is not about all that. It's more an acknowledgement of sorts. An odd acknowledgment for odd circumstances, but at least I see it for what it is. Don't expect any odes, any flowery praise, any sappy words.
Recently, I had something heartbreaking happen in my personal life. It really took me by surprise, even when I should have been prepared. When they say love is blind, they aren't lying. I had alot of grief, I was inconsolable, even downright pitiful.
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I was amazed at what happened. My mom was there for me! She was strong and supportive. I've always seen her as weak and selfish. I loathed her for that, I was ashamed of her. But she urged me on, prodded me to speak my mind and make myself heard. She even allowed my tears; she usually yelled at me to stop crying.
My mother listened to me, allowing me to share what was going on. She didn't blame me for it; which was great since it wasn't my fault. She gave me the courage to do what I needed to. She even fueled my anger, I needed that to stay brave. And in the end, she let me know I deserved better and would find it. That was shocking since she rarely compliments me.
Even though I realize she's not perfect... And she'll certainly never be the mother of my dreams, she healed a few wounds that day. And she made the effort a mother usually does. My mother even made me smile when she said she would pass my phone number out to any cute guys who showed an interest in me during a major music festival.
I won't say things are wonderful now. I will say that I don't hate her as much as I did. And I now admit she's pretty strong at times. But so am I, because I was able to admit that without mumbling.
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